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Hey man. Sounds like a rough time. I know how frustrating it can get when things are not working out professionally and how you have all these thoughts closing in and you are worrying about everything at the same time. Not knowing where to start. Not knowing what to do.
Sound familiar?

I that first of all in a situation like that, worry creates more worry and you worry that you worry etc. Personally, I noticed that I was putting a lot of pressure on myself. I was beating myself up and trying to force myself to sit and work.
But with all that worry, I coudnt get into a creative atmosphere. And when days turn to weeks I got depressed which certainly does not help the situation.

So first step is, although counter intuitive, take all the pressure off yourself. Once you do that, and have a bit of breathing room, I say take a trip alone somewhere nice to relax your mind.
You'll see that with a relaxed mind you can find more answers.

And finally, you have to come up with a game plan, a strategy. A thought out plan to get to where you want to get.

So you want an apprenticeship and cant get one. This tells me that maybe your drawing skills arent good enough. Maybe theyre good but not good enough, maybe they;re not making the tattoo artists say wow this guy has skills, we could use him in our shop.

Sit and draw like a motherfucker. But I see a lot of people who just draw. No, dont just draw. Concentrate to the max, get your face in the paper and try to get your application smoother and smoother and smoother.

Draw from life first, try to get as realistic as possible. Improve with every single drawing you make.

Study, research. This means find as many artists as humanly possible to spark your enthusiasm and your creativity so that you can learn from them and develop your own style.

Keep things into perspective, work hard, get your mind working in one way all the time so that you can enhance your way of thinking that will help you develop.

Thats all I got, hope it helps.

Honestly man, my life changed when I sought to be closer to God.
We were all created to be close to our creator.
Giving my life to Jesus has not only removed my anxiety and improved my day to day emotions. My tattoo career has never been better.
My work itself improved, my knowledge of tattooing comes easier and my relationships with new and old clients are stronger leading to more work and return clientele.
I know people hate on "religion" but forget everything you've ever heard from this world and it's negativity.
Humble yourself ask God to help you, acknowledge Jesus in your life and you won't look back.
It won't change overnight but you'll soon see the light in the dark.
Message me if you feel like talking more.
Hope this brings some light to you my friend.
Take care of yourself and family

sftattoosociety.wordpress.com

God bless,
Ben

Hey, been there buddy. i think most of us have and truth be told i see this a lot on here .tattooing is a very hard business especially since there are so many trying to get in it now ,most younger generations have went to collage and got a art degree of some form so they come out knowing a ton of info, computer skills and they are producing great art out the gate,so that makes it very hard for someone to go at it in a traditional way. my best advice is not to give up. like the other guy said draw your ass off and produce the best work that you can, as if your life depends on it because it does at this point. i will tell you one thing that helps more than anything else is to be positive and carry yourself with pride. people, especially shop owners can read you real quick and if you come in a shop sad and depressed then they will not hire you because it shows them that you have personal problems. they are looking for happy ,humble, and great professional artist. professional is key. look the part act the part and be the part. i love it when i get guys coming to me for a job and they are hung over ,no shower ,dirty clothes , and haven't brushed their damn teeth in a week... i know it sounds like i'm a dick about that, but if i cant stand to be around you for five minutes because you stink then how are clients gonna feel. i know its hard right now for you to hold your head high and be prideful but you have too or you may never find a spot. and i know its easy for us to say these things but i will tell you i fight everyday all day to do what i do .i have to lives depend on it. some days i just want to sit around and do nothing. but i cant i get up at seven everyday and i go to bed at two, sometimes four in the morning. everyday, all of that time i'm improving on myself in some form and running my shop.everyone sees tattooers as being rebels and living this fabulous life doing what we want, but most cases we work harder than most and we don't make the money that people think we do. but that is the game its a life style that consumes you . over worked, under payed, tired and stressed out. if you are lazy and cant hustle you will not make it in this business. so get your professional hustle on and don't look back. rest when your dead. hope this helps...